As a mother, I hear this every day – whether I like it or not. Often people think they are entitled to give this to others – whether they want/need it or not. Sure. We all have opinions and ideas. But sometimes, it is best to keep them to ourselves.
As a new mother, I cringe whenever I hear random people starting their sentences with “If I were you, I would…”
Look. Just in case you didn’t realize: you are not me. And I will not, I repeat, will not take any advice as if you were.
I’m not sure about you. But I’m sick to death of being told how to raise my daughter. All these so-called “advise” came from people who know nothing about her.
For the last 4 months, I wonder why they think it was their business how I parent my daughter.
- Don’t worry about my child’s temperature even when she’s not wearing socks or have a blanket covering her. – Is she not cold? Why didn’t you cover her up? Okay. I hear this a lot. And I mean, A LOT. Does she appear to be shivering? Is she have blue lips? Does she show an early sign of hyperthermia? No? Well, then I’m not worried and you obviously have no reason to be either. For the record, my little girl can’t stand the heat. She’s completely happy without her clothes on even in the coldest of A/C.
- Don’t you dare utter the phrase “That would never happen if it were my kid…” or “If I were you, I would…” – Because it is not your kid. And you are not me.
- Don’t play pediatrician. – If you still fail to realize it, she already has, not one, but two pediatricians. People with actual medical degrees. That’s why their opinions matter more than yours. So, stop telling me I should try all these stupid home remedies, or see an alternative medical practitioner.
- If you have no children on your own, then don’t bother with the advice. – Just don’t. Seriously, just don’t bother opening your big, fat mouth.
- Female circumcision. – Those of you who are pro-female circumcision: I don’t give a flying fuck if you are relatives, family friends, whatever. Don’t try to talk me into circumcising my little girl. If you want to do it to your kids, grandkids – by all means, do it. If you have forgotten, let me remind you. I am the mother of my daughter. I have every right to choose what is best for her. If there is no medical benefit, stop preaching it to me. I will just shut you out. Seriously.
- Don’t judge my decision to stay home or to work. – Having kids is not cheap. It is not something you can do with just a single income these days. Unless, of course, if you are Meghan Markle who married Prince Harry. Going to work isn’t everyone’s option. Staying home to raise the kids is also not the option everyone gets to have. Believe it or not, it is one of the most difficult decisions a woman (or man) will ever have to make. So, tread very lightly if you have to share your opinion on this matter. Better yet, just keep your opinion to yourself.
- Always. Think. Before. You. Speak. – And when in doubt? Remember the famous Gwen Stefani’s song? Don’t speak!
- Don’t judge me for wanting to actually have a life. – Being a mother doesn’t mean I have to stop living my life. It is none of your business if I want to leave my daughter at home (with her grandma) so I could have a night out with my girlfriends. It is also none of your business if I want to take my daughter out to watch rugby at a sports bar. So, please. If all you want to do is to judge, you’re better off shoving your opinions down your asses.
- Don’t judge me because I chose to stop breastfeeding. – Breastfeeding took a toll me on (thanks to all these pro-breastfeeding groups on FB). My daughter is happy with her formula. And I’m happy I don’t have to stress myself pumping my (almost) non-existent breast milk. So, it’s a win-win situation. At the end of the day, you have to remember, fed is best – doesn’t matter if it’s formula or breast milk.
- Keep your religious beliefs to yourself. – Trust me, you are not “saving” anybody here. So, keep your opinions to yourself. Preach on me? Well, I will just shut you out again. Simple.
Being an older mother doesn’t mean you have everything figured out. Because honestly, there’s always something new to learn. Every single day.
And every single day, too, there will always be a controversy of some sort on how we should parent our child. The last thing any mothers need is for someone else to give advice as if we have no idea what we are doing. Remember, things that work for one child will highly likely not work on another.
Still, I have no idea why people make it a priority to poke their noses into other people’s business.